Saturday afternoon. I really could be doing so many other jobs right now. The house is in quite a state (I can almost hear my friends thinking yeah right…) but for some bizarre reason it isn’t bothering me. Lets be honest, it’s possibly because I know I will attend to the chaos tonight!
I knew I wanted to write another blog post this last week, but as busy as the week was, I settled for simple journalling every day. If I didn’t happen to get up before Zoe in the morning, we’d sit next to each other at breakfast and write in our ‘journals’ together! Don’t be fooled – this has not necessarily been the peaceful scene you’re imagining. It has involved me losing my shit because I can’t handle being crawled on and nagged at so early in the morning!! Waaaahhh #mumlife
Writing helps ground me through the ebs and flows. (Obviously need a little bit more work on that). It helps me nut out any niggles that are causing anxiety, come up with solutions (if any) for any of these niggles and to ensure that I haven’t derailed slightly and am veering off track. I have finally learnt, at the age of 28 , that you just can’t afford to ignore doing the things that play a huge part in your well being. It’s not worth it. Not for me who suffers from an ED that is never looming too far away, and not for ANYONE! Something that sounds so simple, is the simple thing that means you can either live a life that you are basically proud of, or live your life as a spectator observing an ongoing train wreck – that being the case for me anyway!
I mentioned in my last post, that I wanted to write about what has helped, and continues to help me with an ED that developed 10 years ago. Writing this initial post was pretty confronting, but I wrote about it when I was truly ready, so the positives have far outweighed any negatives. There are so many wonderful people out there. I almost feel that writing about what has helped me, would be even more confronting. In a way it would reveal to people how much it had a hold on me, and how incredibly hard I’ve had to work to come out the other side and STAY THERE!
That post will come when I feel ready. That same feeling I had when I published my last post, will let me know when it’s time to share the next chapter. I have so much I want to write in terms of the recovery. I’ve read a shit load and am learning a shit load. To a point where I have become fascinated in how our minds work and why we do what we do. I’ve enrolled in more study to help answer these questions and to potentially help explain it to others one day.
The time will come, but for now I’ll dance around the edges as to what has helped me. So not quite warts and all just yet….Lets call this stage one!
- Daily gratitude. This simple practice shifts your focus from what is lacking to what is already abundantly present. There is always something to be grateful for. Don’t wait for a positive experience to allow yourself to be grateful. Look deep, even if it is simply that fact that we have oxygen to breath.
- Remembering that this too shall pass. Some days life is wonderful. Some days life simply sucks. These things never stay the same. Enjoy it when life is good, and when it isn’t? Simply know that it most certainly won’t last. When you’re down…. feel it! Is there a message there? When you’ve had enough and learnt what it is you needed to know. Move on.
- Being healthy starts from the inside out. You need to put as much energy into having a healthy mind, as you do having a healthy body. We feed our bodies good food to feel better. Our minds need be no different. Feed it faith. Feed it truth. Feed it love. That’s what you will get in return.
- Spend time on YOU. Learn about yourself, get to know what works and what doesn’t. What triggers you to fall back into old patterns and what pulls you out. It is so easy to get lost when you are always doing things with a sense of urgency. Find a moment of stillness and really give your heart a chance to tell you where you need to be and what is really going on in there. Try and try again.
- Ask yourself each day for a month: If I were to die tomorrow, would I be happy with how I’m living my life? If the answer is no for too many days in a row, change something! It’s so important to check in. This is basically what has helped me realise when I’ve needed to make changes in my life, big or small.
- Get serious with yourself for a moment – learn what cultivates that kick arse feeling inside you and stick with it! Sometimes you won’t feel like it, and thats ok, just don’t leave it for too long! Pick it back up the next day. What creates that feeling? Maybe writing daily in your journal, pre planning for the week ahead – looking at areas you might need to support yourself through or plan for in the upcoming week. You could engage with your kids, catch up with good people, get out in nature or take a warm shower (this should hopefully be a daily practice)! Quiet nights when you feel you need them helps me stay sane, including meditation in each day for as little or long as you need, or maybe a yoga practice that keeps your body free from aches and pains? Sometimes it’s nice to reach out and show gratitude to people that you appreciate. Think outside the square, send a thank you card to someone that made you smile that week. Basically, find what fills up that cup and try and get as much of it in as possible. The end result – less anxiety, more self trust and the ability to back yourself through the shitty times! For so long I knew what helped me but I didn’t do it. Don’t deny yourself of what you deserve anymore. Rant over.
- The magic happens when you are out of your comfort zone! Sometimes you just need to say yes and then figure it out! There is a lot of emphasis around saying no at the moment. I get that! It is important to listen to your heart and what it truly desires. However I’ve also found that conciously saying YES to things that I’ve initially recoiled from and felt anxious about, has built up so much of the self trust I lost during my marriage and separation.
- Prioritising good sleep, is good self love. We know the best sleep is before midnight. Try and get as much in as you can before 12 pm. Having a child that now basically sleeps through every night has helped with this. We all do what we can and work around what we need to, but just knowing how much better I feel with a good 7-8 hours behind me is enough motivation to put my phone down and go the F to sleep!
I never thought I’d get to a point where I’d say this, but the pain I’ve experienced really has become my source of strength. When you experience moments of how peaceful life can really be, that becomes the drive. It goes without saying that I have hard days, ED related or not! Like any of us! Im just learning a little better at how to recover and find that inner light again.
I’m being beckoned from the other room. She’s awake. Those 2 hours went way to quick! A deep breath to help transition into the new pace that toddler wrangling brings and see what this quiet, now Sunday afternoon brings.